Shadow Hare Needs New Super Suit

I’m rescinding my most hotly contested fashion stance.

From the time The News Record introduced the University of Cincinnati to The Fashion Dungjen, I’ve preached hell, fire and damnation to all who wear leggings as pants.

But, because of Cincinnati’s – no, Ohio’s – no, the country’s – newest fascination, dare I say obsession, with Shadow Hare, I’m willing to amend the rule I set in stone more than a year ago.

I’m proposing we hook this dude up with a new costume. He’s currently patrolling the streets in some black, baggy jeans dressed in chains that probably hook onto his Superman wallet. His black, long-sleeve T-shirt has the Shadow Hare logo on the front.
And then, there’s his mask. Shadow Hare is rocking the mask of a Luchador – a Mexican wrestler.

This hand-crafted costume probably isn’t serving him very well when he’s out making citizen arrests. Didn’t he say  he dislocated his shoulder while trying to help a woman being mugged?

Since I am admittedly not an authority on superheroes, I figured I’d recruit someone with something legitimate, or more legitimate, to help figure out what the newest addition to Cincinnati’s finest should wear.

“It will be bold, dramatic, heroic,” said Edna Mode, eccentric fashion designer for The Incredibles.

Ask her, though, and there are no capes in Shadow Hare’s future.

“Do you remember Thunderhead? November the 15th of ’58, all was wall, another day’s save, when his cape snagged on a missile head,” Mode said. “Strato Girl, April ’57, cape caught in a jet turbine. No capes!”

I will say, the black was a good choice for Shadow Hare. It’ll help him poke around in the dark, help him sneak around corners without being noticed. Quality choice, my friend.
However, the baggy jeans with chains isn’t going to cut it. Dude needs something a little more fitted, something to help with his aerodynamics and speed, something to minimize wind resistance.

When I was on swim team they always said not to shave our legs until right before a meet. You’d get used to swimming with the hair – because it drags – and you’d work harder to make up time. Once you shave, you’re still conditioned to work harder, but without drag, so your time improves even more.

If Shadow Hare practices saving the city in baggy jeans, think of how much faster he could move in some black leggings or tights?

This is the one instance when leggings can be justifiably worn as pants.

Woosh.

Did you see that?

No?

That was Shadow Hare.

Taking a cue from the students in the College of Design, Architecture, Art and Planning would also be in Shadow Hare’s best interest.

Recently, a studio of fine art students in DAAP had to create a superhero alter ego complete with a costume for class.

Since they’re already campus experts, who else would be better to consider a redesign of Shadow Hare’s aesthetic?

“He definitely needs something that is more streamlined,” said Meredith Waddell, a first-year fine arts student. “He needs something more menacing because he tries to stop thugs, so he needs, like, a cape. He has a good idea right now, but he needs to push it further to look more professional.”

The biggest strike against Shadow Hare may be his non-traditional costume. People see him, he hands over his business card and they laugh. But what if he looked sleek, polished, poised?

“If he looked nicer, people might take him more seriously,” said Lucy Cary, a second-year fine arts student.

So, my fellow students, Cincinnatians, whomever is out there reading this, here’s what I’m thinking:

Let’s redesign Shadow Hare’s costume. Send me sketches, doodles, collages. Whatever you got, I want it. Show me how you would dress Cincinnati’s own hero. Bring a hard copy to The News Record office, 509 Swift Hall, or digitize it and shoot me an e-mail: thefashiondungjen@gmail.com.

I’ll post all entries on my blog and submissions will be pitted against one another and the winner will be awarded a super prize. (I’m collaborating with some nerd I know to determine the best kind of prize.)

Hit me up, friends. I’m anxious to see what you’ve got.