Feet got you beat, spruce up for spring

Feet. They are everywhere and almost everyone has them.

Some people hate them, some people love them and some people love them too much.
In fact, in high school I had drama with one of the French exchange students, Alix, and this boy, Ryan, who was a little temperamental, a little too emotional and not completely socialized. Alix and I became fast friends and she absolutely hated Ryan.

One day, before class started, Alix and I were sitting, gossiping as girls in high school do, when Ryan creeped up to Alix and stroked the underside of her foot with his pointer and middle fingers (she was wearing wedge sandals).

I guess Alix did always have nice feet … Ew.

Regardless of any foot fetish or fantasies, the time for sandals and light footwear is now. But, dang, there are some ugly feet on this campus.

However, as a girl with admittedly ugly feet, passing judgment on those who dare to rock sandals or open-toe shoes would not only be hypocritical but just downright unfair. (Although it’s probably somewhat merited; the only time I wear sandals is in the Calhoun Hall shower.)

After months of being holed up in hot, stuffy and sweaty boots, your feet have probably just about had it with you.

They’re callused, pale, dry. Ew.

As a too-avid fan of footwear, I find myself noticing how disgusting some feet look and how people might not realize that, yes, I can see your feet. And no, I don’t have some creep-fest obsession with your tootsies, but, yeah, I like shoes so I’m going to look at your feet.

Perhaps there needs to be a spring foot cleaning and cleansing. Who wouldn’t love some pampering? Seriously.

But, at the same time, who the heck can afford to be pampered?

I know my bank account has seen brighter days so there’s no way I’m opting for anyone to wait on me foot and foot. But, what I do have is a few dollars, a couple available resources and all six seasons of Sex and the City on DVD (to watch while soaking my feet, obviously).

So, if you have some dry or callused feet, it’s time to pamper, baby.
What you’ll need:

- ¼ tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- a pinch of cinnamon
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- ¼ cup milk
- ¼ cup water

Now, here comes the hard part … Mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl and, then, soak your feet for as long as you’d like.

Try not to break a sweat.

I used to have this weird fear of vampires and monsters under the bed when I was growing up. (Now you’re thinking, “What the heck does this have to do with feet?” Just wait for it.) There was no freaking way I could sleep without my covers pulled up and over my neck – clearly it would keep the blood-sucking metro men in black away – and I couldn’t sleep without socks just in case the monsters could smell my feet.

I have no idea where these notions came from. I had a (relatively) normal childhood. My parents didn’t do anything traumatizing that would make me such a freak, I just, you know, was.

Anyway, now that I’ve outgrown the notion of the boogie monster – I admit I still have to sleep with covers around my neck – I still sometimes wear socks to bed to help soften the callused skin.

There are about a billion different types of moisturizing lotions for feet and a million different “specialty socks” that companies will try to claimare the best for keeping your feet soft. But, my friends, it’s much simpler than that.

Any cotton socks will work for the overnight treatment. And, as far as the moisturizing lotion goes, make sure it’s for specifically for feet.

I’m not sure whatever happened to Alix or Ryan. Something tells me she went back to Germany and stayed there. Ry, on the other hand, well, he did always want to be a politician …

Do you have a beautiful feet regimen that beats Taylor’s? Tell her about it at dungjet@email.uc.edu.