Editor Gives Fashion Send Off to Zimpher

Dear Nancy,

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I can only hope our next president is as fabulously fashionable as you – or maybe I don’t.
As is old news to anyone in Cincinnati, you have flown the coop to fill the vacant chancellor position at the State University of New York system.

Since news broke about your potential departure a couple weeks ago, I’ve been flooded with questions: Who will our next president be? How long will the search take? Who will the new president fire? Will Cincinnatians hate them as much as they seem to dislike my beloved Nancy?

Well, I don’t have any of the answers to those questions but I have one, very pressing question, of my own: Will you have to revitalize your entire wardrobe?

Since pigs already fly in Cincinnati, I was sure the day you wore anything other than black and red would be the day hell froze over and ghouls would charge admission for couples skate.

Let’s be real, my friend: You, our fearless leader of five years, are nucking fancy. You are a hot mama.

I didn’t believe it when I read it, but Nancy, you are 62 years old. (It’s like the Madonna thing, but less creepy.) You look damn good for 62. I mean, really, you are older than Barbie, and in some cases, you look and dress better than some of those bogus blonde broads.

Instead of flying a red, white and black flag from your presumably decked-out-in “I love Cincinnancy” penthouse, and instead of a tri-chrome wardrobe, you might have to re-learn how to dress in a color palette outside of your staples.

Yesterday, in New York, your black and white skirt suit – although it was classy and stylish, was lacking. You already stripped away the UC red.

Now, instead of being the leader of one university, you’re the starfleet commander of 64 universities. How many of those are only in red, white and black?

You say you only took the job because of “the aspiration of the State University of New York is nothing less than to be the best higher education system in the country and to be a global model.”

I say you took the job because it’s New York and you can shop - a lot. Now you can buy lots of even quirkier tights. You can wear more colors than you ever imagined. For example, the school colors of the University at Buffalo, a SUNY school, are white and blue.

The University at Albany’s colors – another SUNY school – are purple and gold.
A simple “Nancy Zimpher” Google search shows that you already, or at one time owned, a purple suit! Score!

Anyway, this is my hope for the future:

I hope you will continue to look ultra fierce while serving as SUNY’s chancellor and will gain unprecedented amounts of attention. With the attention you receive, some wonderful designer who is prepping for their Fashion Week showing, will think, “Self, this is a mental note to invite Nancy Zimpher to my show.”

Upon receiving a “Nancy Zimpher plus one” invitation to Diane Von Furstenberg, Chanel, Oscar de La Renta, 3.1 Philip Lim, Marc Jacobs or Betsey Johnson, in a fit of excitement, decide to take a stroll down Fifth Avenue for some shopping and reflection.

Walking into any of the high-end designer stores, you will see a wall of tights – we all know how much you love tights. You’ll pick up a pair, and, just like that, you’ll be calling Cincinnati to find your favorite News Record fashion columnist to be the “plus one” guest for a week of goodie bags and drooling. Lots and lots of drooling.

More realistically, I will miss you. Remember that one time, in The News Record office, you didn’t even throw a fit when I asked why you wear tights so often. Granted, you refused to tell me what brand is your favorite, I feel that if I had asked Buck Niehoff, you know him, the new chairman of the UC Board of Trustees, why he was always rocking the bow tie, he might not be as receptive to give me a candid 10-minute response.

(If you talk to Buck, make sure you let him know I’m a big fan of the bow tie … He makes it work.)

Nancy, my friend, I’m sad to see your fab tights and fierce shoes walk away from UC. But before you go, I must ask, may I please have your Cincinnancy pillow?

Love,
Taylor.