Black Friday turns shoppers into bargain barbarians

I did the Black Friday thing once.

It was an early morning trip to SouthPark Mall in Strongsville, Ohio, with two of my best friends. They were busy learning Hawthorne Heights lyrics and I was trying to stay awake. (Unfortunately, I must admit I already knew the words to the songs on their first album. It’s not something I’m proud of.)

The mall was jam packed before any of the stores opened. Lines snaked around corners and people looked for friends so they could cut in line.

My friends Kinel, Bizz and I made our way from store to store looking for deals that were too good to pass up. I don’t remember what I bought, if I bought anything. The only thing I remember was extreme frustration, a dizzying madness of pushing through crowds of people taking way too long to figure out what it was they were looking for.

All of this happened before 8 a.m. And I don’t drink coffee. It was not pleasant.

The deals are pretty great – there’s no denying that – but is all the mayhem worth it? I’m inclined to say no.

Before anyone gets into a tizzy about how I’ve only shopped one Black Friday, pull your panties out of a twist and settle down. For the last three years I’ve worked Black Friday in various malls (Dayton Mall and Kenwood Towne Centre). Two years ago I had two full-time jobs during the Black Friday and Christmas shopping season.

I’ve seen the madness. I’ve dealt with the madness. I hate the madness.

People get mad because there are no boxes for 20-pound winter coats, they get mad because there are other people in line and they get mad when you’re out of the most common size in a popular T-shirt or sweater.

People are more irrational than usual on Black Friday.

Shopping on Black Friday might actually one day be considered an Olympic sport. Or at the very least you might need a personal training staff to help you prepare. There is a lot of walking, circling racks of clothing, running from store to store, standing with hefty loads of items, pushing carts and hauling heavy shopping bags. You might consider conditioning yourself for the workout you’re about to get on Friday: Shopping burns 250 calories an hour.

But, if you like the chaos or you’re one of the irrational people who enjoy the excuse to be a little unreasonable, then kudos to you. There are probably a few things I’d like for you to pick up for me. I’ll send you a list.

But, if you’re anything like me and have no desire to become a part of the consumer mania, you might try shopping at some of Cincinnati’s independent boutiques.

For the second year, the Gateway Quarter in Over the Rhine is hosting Holidays in the Bag to promote local shopping the day after Thanksgiving. It’s pretty simple: You have to purchase a bag from the Gateway Quarter Information Center and then, from participating stores, you can receive 20 percent off everything you can fit inside the bag. You have an entire day to make the trek to OTR – Holidays in the Bag is from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. But there’s an added bonus: Proceeds from Holidays in the Bag benefit the Emanuel Community Center.

If you can’t get everything you need in the Gateway Quarter, you’re only a few minutes from downtown – you can visit Saks, Macy’s and T.J. Maxx.

If you want to shop exclusively local this year, it might be a little tricky if you plan on shopping outside of the Gateway Quarter. Most independent, locally owned shops have irregular hours. Business owners might be out shopping on Black Friday to try and scoop up some of the premier deals for themselves, so there’s no telling if they’ll even be open.
Plan in advance. Call your favorite indie shops to ask if they’ll be open. Find out what their hours are or if they’re offering special deals. If not, cross it off your list for Friday; you can go there any time and pay the same amount.

And if you find yourself in Dayton Mall, visit me at the jewelry store; I make commission.

Is your Black Friday a bargain bonaza or do you spend it snuggled under the covers? Let Taylor know at thefashiondungjen@gmail.com.