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Fashion Dungjen: 6126 trashy ode to Monroe

By Taylor Dungjen

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Published: Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Updated: Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's thigh highs and low blows for one of America's favorite Hollywood role models.

Like every other bottle-blonde celebrity in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan has launched her own clothing line. The "much anticipated" line consists of one thing and one thing only: leggings.

Does this not surprise anyone else?

Lohan's legging line, 6126, features an array of leggings. In fact, one pair even has built-in knee pads. How perfect for the city chic biker. Now, instead of looking foolish with actual kneepads you can look ultra fabulous with two-in-one biker-friendly leggings.

Give me a break.

Certainly Lohan was thinking of the environment when she designed the versatile leggings. These glamorous bottoms will surely promote bike riding among the fashionista, or maybe just the pre-teen community and help to eliminate carbon emissions from vehicles. But something tells me probably not.

If you're not a biker and you sport the kneepad legging look, one may question your moral integrity. These leggings leave wearers subject to ridicule. And really? Knee pads on leggings? That is what I call an open invitation to sexual harassment.

Aside from bike riding and provoking unwanted sexual innuendos, knee pad leggings can also be used for a number of other recreational and outdoors activities: rollerblading, volleyball, hockey and gardening.

Lohan's line isn't limited to padded wear; thoughtfully included in the line is a pair of thigh-high leggings fit for any Vegas rate street-walker. Also debuting in the line are leggings that zip from the ankle to the knee. When would you need to unzip your leggings?

Well, to rephrase, when would you need to unzip your leggings to just above the knee? I guess in searing temperatures one could unzip said leggings and have them flutter in the wind behind them for an instant cool down. Mark my words, if I ever see that, expect to be handcuffed and interrogated by the fashion police.

If it wasn't insulting enough to the fashion community to launch a line devoted to leggings, how wretched would it be to have a clothing line named after you, comprised of nothing but leggings?

If Lohan posing nude as Marilyn Monroe wasn't degrading enough to the late beauty queen, naming leggings after her may take the cake - 6126, June 1, 1926 is Marilyn's birthday.

This epitomizes adding insult to injury.

This, of course, comes full circle back to the issue I first visited last November: Leggings are not pants, leggings are not pants, leggings are not pants.

Still, the pantless parade across campus has not yet been remedied. I'm not sure Lohan's 6126 will help, but heed these words: Just because a celebrity wears something, does not mean it is acceptable.

No other fashion faux pas has ever made me want to print out a zillion copies of my last leggings-as-pants article to pass out to the anti-fashion aficionados in hopes that they get a clue.

So before I have to embark on another 500-word tirade, understand that your outfit minus pants, shorts, skirt or dress is not hot. Leggings are not a viable substitute to any of the aforementioned clothing items and they make you look cheap, unkempt and cliché.

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