Best butts sought for fashion ad

American Apparel wants you.

Or, rather, they want your behind.

The clothing chain launched a campaign Thursday, Jan. 28, to find the tightest end for its Best Bottom in the World contest, encouraging butt model wannabes to submit a close-up picture of their rear end, clad — or well, clad in a mostly naked kind of way — in American Apparel underwear (or bodysuits or briefs).

The entire purpose of the contest is to find the next eligible butt model for the “always expanding intimates and briefs line.” They want you, or maybe a close friend, to snap a close-up of your butt and submit the photo. The only rule: You must be at least 18 years old to enter.

The butts are hosted on American Apparel’s Web site for viewers to score, rank and comment on. Yes, people can leave comments about your butt. You can also post the picture of someone’s butt to your Facebook account or Twitter feed.

The brand’s Web site has a display of all the submitted butts — the most up-to-date count is 652. That’s a lot of booty.

The highest-ranked booty belongs to someone named Mira, from Chicago, and has a score of 4.34. Not bad, considering her butt has been viewed 45,770 times and has been scored 3,970 times. (Information that is available if you click on the photo.)

Judges from American Apparel will select the two most attractive butts as finalists. The two will go to Los Angeles for a final judging. The winner will be eligible to become the brand’s next butt model. Yes, it says eligible. There is no guarantee the winner will actually become the next model. You might only walk away with some new, very different, credentials. I wonder how that would look on a resume.

The top-10 butts, as voted by viewers worldwide, will win an American Apparel goodie bag worth $300.

Contestants could solicit votes from their friends, classmates and even strangers. Maybe they should make a sign and stand on the corner of Clifton and Calhoun in their underwear asking drivers to cast their vote.

If you choose to check out the Web site, there are several patterns you might notice in photo submissions: lower back tattoos, butt glitter and people named “sexy ass.”
There appear to be a few poses that are favored: butt sticking out … way out, the side view typical American Apparel stance and the spread eagle view that makes me feel increasingly uncomfortable.

Although there isn’t much restriction on who can submit a photo, the contest is dominated by female booty — it isn’t until the last two or three pages when you see any male behind. It would also be worth noting that the butts are posted in order of highest to lowest rank. I guess that means nobody likes man butt and their hairy legs.

(At least one of the man butts is firmly gripped by the hand of his roommate.)

Despite the awkward feeling of examining the butt photos, I couldn’t look away. News editor Gin A. Ando, who also had a peek, says it best: It’s kind of like a train wreck.
Train wreck indeed. Some of the participants seem so desperate for attention and adoration they not only include a close up of their butt, but they make a collage of their butt from different angles. Some are daring enough to include their face in the photo. Imagine if your parents saw that?

(Then you need to decide what the bigger problem is: The fact your parents know that your butt is available for viewing on the Internet or the idea that your parents were perusing butts on the Internet.)

The layout of the contest is pretty simple. The butts appear in rows, they’re clickable so you can enlarge the image for a full view. Contestants are allowed to enter a short description of the photo for the curious at heart.

It’s almost like an online dating service … for butts.

Got what it takes to be the World’s Best Butt? The company is taking submissions through Sunday, Feb. 21.

Plan on putting your butt in the running? Tell Taylor at thefashiondungjen@gmail.com.